Facing the changes of me

“changes that move,

within my life-

do I move with them,

or stand against them-

with my will of human restraint.”

Life is sometimes like a web of changes that are converging upon me; some I welcome, and well some are difficult to face. Change is changing as we speak, and my heart is so full with so many emotions, they paint words on my soul and I release them to the page. I write with raw honesty, and from it blooms my hope and trust in compassion. For it to hold me, even when I don’t want to move with the changes I am facing. I share this because I know in my heart, many of you are facing hard choice changes in your life. 

looking to my horizon

 

“rigid in fear,

not wanting them-

to come near,

I feel change-

brush past me,

only at times-

to push it away.”

Many bloggers and writers have been coming forward and speaking of  dealing with depression, the stigma around it, and what brings you through to the other side. I have struggled with depression for several years. I have also faced the grim pain of wanting it to all end about 3 years ago. I was attempting to make my marriage work, but the pain of my partner resisting me, not loving me anymore, took me to a very dark place.  I felt like I fell into a deep dark well, not knowing how to get out. The ache in my heart seem so severe, I only wanted the pain to end, so the only way I thought it could end, was to end my life.

An inner voice whispered to me deep within my soul, and I was fortunate enough to go on a soul quest to Northern California, to find myself again. So I never judge the pain or depression of another person, rather know what it’s like to feel stuck in that pain; trying to find your way out of it.  I could only say that there are times I touch my depression through my poetry, but also find my other side when I do reach out with words onto the page.

One thing I hold onto is I am awake now. I bring myself to the consciousness of my soul, to the Divine One inside which pulls me away from that very dark place. I have come to know many people on facebook, many to whom my writing speaks to the pain in their hearts. If I just touch one person; to help them get through that dark place, I have imprinted upon them the compassion of my soul.

We all in truth are like butterflies. We all have our beautiful wings, it’s just a matter of time, that we will spread them wide and fly. I bring the passion of my heart to my poetry, and also my words of changes, sometimes expressing my fears and sorrow. I also resound words of truth, bravery and joy. If you let yourself come through to the other side of you, you have walked through your flame of change, only to be brilliant and shining in the radiance you truly are. We can now spread our wings and fly.

Butterfly 2

 

 

“see the layers,

of me lifting-

let go of the resisting,

enter through-

the changes of me,

let love show me-

how far I have come.”

Maureen ~

 

 

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