Rising to new beginnings, willing to hold empty and full at the same time

When I rise, let it be with thoughtfulness, gratefulness, courage, love for life and strength in just being. With my breath, I recognize that I can be open enough to hold what is empty and full at the same time. I see the possible come even when it seems impossible. Even if it remains impossible, I hold space for love to hold that as well, for it will bring something new to me. I recognize that even at the end of my day when my inner voice wants to whisper regrets to me, I embrace the newness of rising with honoring of a new day.

I sit staring our my front window with the remnants of  Winter holding my morning sky. I sit with my quietness, it embraces me as thoughts turn back to my March Moon honoring. Yes I honor what I have lost. Loss of love, loss of friendship, loss what was. It pains me when I hold the essence of it in my heart but also release it with the burning bowl and sage. March Full Moon was very much about beginnings. As I begin to really let go of what was, it is difficult to separate my emotions from what holds my heart to the familiar and what seemed so true and life lasting. I am constantly reminded that things shift, change, transition, but even when they do, we are often knocked over by them.

My time away has been spent adjusting to these transitions and as an every day learning experience, trying to move with them through love and courage. In the real world so they say, when going through a divorce you have to separate your emotions from what is just the facts, what is the litigation, the petitions, the signed statements. However, I am connected to my emotions, they are a part of me and what swells up in me and questions my soul. What are the feeling of compassion, love and grace? I hold them as I try to move through this ending in my life with its rude awakenings of not really wanting to hold space for what must be done. But I do, as any woman who has been on this path knows what must be done to preserve protection for yourself and family. My intentions are to honor what is best for my family and for me, not to tear down anyone or break what is true in my heart.

This morning I took a hard look at what I hold as empty and full at the same time. It’s holding gratefulness for what I have and honoring what I don’t and for what I must let go. It is allowing yourself to hold a space for those who are no longer in your life in your heart, with intentions of love and well being for them. It is holding intentions for the well being of yourself.

I wrote this poem in my morning meditation today.  I honor women who have sojourned on this path and may be starting their way to it now. I honor all that brings us to the other end of it all with our new beginnings. Honoring every new day that rises with its shifts, the possible, the impossible, holding what is empty and full at the same time.

sun streams through,

blue gray-

trees twist and bend,

spiraling black and thin-

waiting for green,

to grace their beings again.

I rise to my morning’s calling,

with new breath-

opening to it as if for,

the first time-

living through the memories,

of the mornings that have-

come before,

hoping for the ones-

that will touch me again,

not taking them for granted.

new as the rapturing of me,

holding everything today offers-

I open to new beginnings,

to my beginning song,

my rising dance,

my soul embracing,

my morning’s call.

the empty, the full,

that I hold at the same time-

when life holds the possible,

and impossible-

at the same time.

breathing the beauty,

it holds-

through love that takes,

my morning-

bringing  me new life.

Author Maureen Kwiat Meshenberg ©  

 

 

 

 

 

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